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1. Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.

2. I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.

3. No but she's like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally I wouldnt' be scared but someone gave her a bat. That's why I'm in the bathroom.

4. Just got up. With the club stamp on my ass. How did it get there???

5. The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella.

6. He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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1. I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.

2. I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.

3. that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.

4. We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.

5. It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter.


Or just leave him a message, it's a wild ride no matter what you pick.
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Emil Nekola

September 2017

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